THE NEED TO BE ALONE TOGETHER...

One of the most profound points that Turkle makes in her assessment of technology and our human experience is her observation (and personal opinions) on how this relationship affects the most vulnerable, children and the elderly. “We explain Kismet’s technical problems to Estelle, but nonetheless, she makes every effort to get Kismet to speak. When her efforts bear no fruit, Estelle withdraws, sullen…She tells us that the robot does not like her. We explain this is not the case. She is unappeased” (Turkle, pg. 96). I started to experience Estelle’s interaction and response to the human-like Cog on a personal level because of the vulnerability of my own daughter. I could see in Estelle what I see in my child and it brought this sense of disappointment for what I have struggled with as a parent (reflective of what Turkle mentions earlier in her book about people, according to children, as “often disappointing”) and a new perspective on the vulnerability of my daughter via her experience with technology. It brought to my attention how much I don’t want technology interfering with my daughter’s vulnerability. I see it as a fearful hindrance that, for children like Estelle and my daughter, may do more harm than good. There seems to be no room to acknowledge this vulnerability, which, as humans, involves our nature-made minds to necessarily confront and work towards lessening this vulnerable state. In the case of children, putting in the human work to relieve vulnerability will allow for healing, which, in turn, encourages the joys of childhood and the healthy growth to adulthood. For technology to take the place of this experience seems to call for a quick fix that doesn’t last, but for as long as technology is turned on (because god forbid that it turns off or malfunctions. We become human again.).

From the observation of the elderly, I took another personal view of seeing this vulnerability with my parents. Both of my parents are still mobile and seem to be in between the stages of showing off their still youthful agility (i.e. my close to sixty year old mother running around with her already tired daughters and forever energetic granddaughter in a game of soccer) and realizing that they are getting older (i.e. not going to bed without two gulps of Tylenol for aches and pains). Yet, although they are not immobile or in a nursing home and they are both active in terms of continuing their workaholic ways, I did see that sense of loneliness Turkle mentions as an unfortunate reality for many elders in this modern world. My parents are becoming a part of that lonely population of older generations. My sisters and I are so much more focused on our lives and strugglingwith the pace of society that we feel we have no room to deal with our parents’ aging. As mentioned by Turkle, “grandparents…whose care is often a source of family tension” (pg. 73), the thought of having (having, in the sense of, the cultural implications, as Nigerians, to mandatory responsibility [or face tremendous guilt and spiritual ramifications] of taking care of your parents) to take on the responsibility of your parents in old age is quite daunting (and I say this as a thirty-something mother with child whose growing up and I’m getting older). Yet, as Turkle discusses the feelings children have towards their grandparents and the idea of technology taking over their human care, I couldn’t help but notice my own reserves of such a thing as an AIBO or My Real Baby bringing comfort, companionship to people who brought me into this world and took care of me without any robotic/AI assistance. This conflict also brought to light how much my parents are using other forms of technology such as the television to compensate for their loneliness. I know these ideas of robotic elder care and/or tuning into some form of technology (i.e. television) amidst the loneliness involves various human factors, which one them is the lack of time children take and/or are allowed to care for their parents. It is very bothersome, yet fascinating, of this supposed relationship (at least, to the human), especially when observing it from an adult perspective whose grown up unlike a child whose still developing.